I was going home that day, when I saw a young couple parting ways.
The woman looked at the man. The man bent down and picked up his bag, straightened up and leaned in just the slightest bit. She said “Bye!” and smiled, then she realised he was leaning. By that time, he was already hesitating. The two of them stood there for a while, not knowing whether to kiss or not, then pulled away and left each other.
So how does someone know when to kiss a person? I spent some time talking to friends, and I noticed that there ia a vague set of rules, or loose guidelines, which dictate if you go in for that snog, and what level of snogging you’re in for. Some of the most interesting ones were…
1) “Not on the first date.”
No matter how it went. If it went well, keep ’em guessing. If it didn’t go well, your exit strategy entails NOT kissing the other person!
2) “At the end of the night, if I linger 3 or 4 more seconds“
Well, if she’s waiting around for you, that’s your chance. Don’t fuck it up, son.
3) “When I lean slightly in the first time, please don’t use your entire tongue!”
Ok here’s a tip: It’s almost always a peck first. I said PECK, not lip lock. No pressing, no tongue and certainly no teeth in this equation.
4) “If my arms are already around his waist.”
This is definitely one of those moments where you “waist” no time.#sorrynotsorry. She’s probably okay with a bit of lip if you’re in that moment.
5) “If she’s constantly getting closer to you, it’s alright”
Obviously, I asked this person what constitutes “getting closer to you”, because I clueless right? If she’s in your personal space often enough. Also, if she intentionally touches you on your arms, shoulders, chest, hands and/or face, then you’re close enough.
6) “If there is plenty of eye contact!”
So this one is surprisingly quantifiable. The eyes may really be the windows to your soul, or at least your brain. If she’s interested, you’ll see her pupils dilate. It’s not conscious, and please don’t stare at her eyes or she’ll cut you off fast.
7) If I’m leaning on you, or curling up on you, kiss me.”
Basically, if you’re on a level of close contact, have a lot of feedback when you communicate and are engaged positively in each other’s behaviours, you should always kiss her if she looks for it. Once in a while, don’t look like you’re asking and just go for it, because sometimes you just gotta take charge, my friend.